After a weekend at home with family and old friends I feel better, a little more at ease if you will.
I wanted to wait to confirm my suspicion before I said anything on here just in case I was wrong.
I had a miscarriage.
We were shocked to find out that I was pregnant to begin with since I was still breastfeeding when we conceived but we were ready to make everything work even though the babies would only be 18 months apart and that alone scared me to death!
I know that this is for the better that God knew that this wasnt the time for us to have another baby. I know in my heart as well this wasnt the right time.
So we are just going through the days I am still a little numb about it but calling my mom, sister, and best friend to talk the details made it all a little more real.
I also was reminded as to why I married my husband last week when things were uncertain as to whether we had lost the baby or not (I have yet to show any signs physically of having a miscarriage) he bought me pink cupcakes (my favorite color) and a beautiful card that made me weep. He isnt one to show his emotions but he knows when I need him to and he does. He reminded me that we will make it through this just like we have gotten through everything else.... together.
So I may have a sugary sweet front for awhile on the blog, its my way of coping. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers. It truly means so much to me.
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2 Comments:
Oh, I am sorry to hear about your sad news. Your husband sounds like a wonderful supportive man. I hope that you have many joys during this hard time.
Stef,
Oh how sorry I am. I don't know if you know this, but I know your pain very well for I have lost 3 babies. I lost them all within 18 months. Please know that while I know how raw and horrible the pain is, from what I have learned, healing comes with time spent with people who truly understand. I would not have gotten through without the few friends I knew who had been through the same. My heart aches for you. The pain I could read in your words made me relive some of my pain. It will get easier, trust me. Thinking of you and sending hugs and prayers . . . .
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