Tomorrow is my birthday. Ugh. This is the first time in my life that I am not looking forward to a birthday. I will be 24. And I feel old. I know that people will yell at me about this but really, I feel like I havent accomplished a thing. I dont have my degree. I still dont know what I want to do with my life. Scratch that I knew I want to sew and create things for the rest of my life but turning that into a career is still fuzzy.
I am the type of person that wants things to happen now, right away, an overnight success. While I have faith that I will do what I am meant to do I just wish I could bring success to it sooner. My birthday also marks my sewing birthday. I have been sewing for one year, have had an etsy store for one year. While I havent done all that I could with etsy I feel I have made great life connections from it. So for only being "at it" for one year I know I have grown leaps and bounds. Just not as fast as I would have liked. All of the creative people who have me inspired seemed to be crafting since childhood. They have years on me and that frustrates me to no end, as trivial as it is! Why was I such a book worm and play so much music, I should have been with a sewing machine I tell myself. Stupid I know.
I know I am not old in the whole sense of it. I still have at least three quarters of my life to live (if not more). I just feel that right now I am at a stand still. A year has gone by and I havent really "done" anything and that bothers me. So this the birthday will go by without a lot of hoopla (which is so unlike me I usually make it a birthday month) I will spend time with my best friend going to a few thrift stores and antique stores and I will spend time with Ken and Leila. Basically a day with my favorite people in the world.
I think I will create a list of things to accomplish this year instead of a new years resolution I will create a birthday resolution. I hate this feeling of standing still. Life is always moving and I cant seem to catch up with it.
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6 Comments:
I wanted to wish you a happy birthday... and feel a little better knowing that I am just 2 months away from being 25... I feel old... I know exactly how you feel. I Love ya... I know that things have been really rough, but things will get better... This can be "The YEAR OF STEFANIE" I am excited to see what you can do... I know you have the motivation to do just about anything... also I wanted to talk to you about making a purse for me.... for my sister... but we can talk about that later! Love ya
HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!
Happy Birthday!
I turned 35 this year and I was so sad because I just don't feel THIS old! Sorry yours hit so early! It'll get better.
Happy Birthday! My 29th birthday is quickly approaching and I often feel the same. I make a modest living with my art but I see how great other people are doing and I feel like a failure. I know making any living doing what I love should make me happy but I feel like I am getting old and I want to have this instant success. Just stay strong and know a lot of other women are going through the same thing.
Stef,
So sorry you feel this way. But use this blog entry as a wake up call. tell yourself that it's only going to get better. That it only can get better. That you will find what it is that you're suppose to do. I honestly think you have found it, and know what it is. Now you just have to find ways of making it more workable for you. It's gonna happen. Believe me. I was 26 before I realized what I was suppose to do. I had basically given up searching and then "it" just sort of landed in my lap. And here I am now, a photographer . . .and a very happy one. I don't feel like any time has been wasted. I just think of it as time that I've learned more about myself. I have the rest of my life now to celebrate my love of photography. Concentrate on your loves and I promise you, everything will fall into place!
Happy Birthday, Friend!!
xoxo
Happy, happy, birthday to you! Hey at least you are still closer to 20 than 30. I made the jump in the other direction this year.
Isn't it amazing how far you can come with sewing skills? I was admiring my work the other day. I was piddling around with sewing for a few year but only got serious with it this year.
You have done something! You have beautiful stuff in my store that people are always raving about! Give yourself the credit you so deserve!
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