Billiard Baby

Recap from the week

Mon- Tues: stomach flu
Wed: cutting out skirts
Thursday: sewing like a mad women
Friday: packing and cleaning

We leave for Hawaii early tomorrow morning. 10+ hours on a plane with Leila makes me nervous beyond belief but we will get through it. When we get there as a treat I am buying way too many Japanese craft books and splurging at this AMAZING flea market.

I am happy to report that I was able to sew 6 total skirts (not shown a white and black polka dotted skirt and a blue skirt) for the trip so I only need to pack one pair of trusty jeans and I am set! Normally on trips I will spend a fortune on new clothes just as a treat for going on vacation ( I know call me crazy I can take it) this time I spent a total of $10 for all of my skirts! I am super proud of my thrifty/cheap self!

We will be back after labor day and the extended blog break will be officially over!

A day trip

The weather around here is finally nice out. It wasnt hot, muggy, or rainy. With everything that has been going on Leila and I really needed to get out of the apartment and take a walk. So off to my favorite spots in town. We did espically well and I was able to spend a bit of my birthday money.

I found this painting at our St. Vinnies. It has a little bit of age on it (a few yellow spots) but all in all for $14 I am so happy. I should note it was a lot more then I normally pay for anything at a thrift store BUT it had a signed appraisal on the back in 1993 it was worth $140 so I figured it was a good investment. Besides I love it, it is vibrant and will look perfect in my crafting area.

I also grabbed a Charm Pack of Moda's Shangri~la. I signed up for this quilt swap in hopes that I can keep up learning my quilting skills. I am really excited though terrified at the same time. My partner likes traditional quilts. I am not traditional in any way so I think I will do a traditional quilt pattern but still use some funky fabric. In comes the reason for the charm pack. Plus the fabrics match, and it will be easier to cut up smaller squares (my least favorite part of quilting- the prep)

Help needed

Leila's all over body rash is gone but she now has a horrible rash on her one leg only. And it is getting worse not better. I just wanted to see if anyone has seen this before. It has left our family doctor stumped and it will take at least a month to see a dermatologist.


**Edit: Leila has had her chicken pox vaccination (about 3 months ago now). It doesnt seem to bother her to the touch and I havent seen her scratch them before. The are raised up pretty far and hard to the touch**

Not to be outdone

Leila is now sick with coxsackie virus aka Hand Foot and Mouth. So I am now caring for a household. I believe it is time for me to take a hiatus from blogging. I will stop in from time to time but I dont think I will post regularly again until September. We leave for Hawaii in a little over two weeks so it is going to be hectic around here for a little bit.

I will miss everyone!

Celebrate?

Tomorrow is my birthday. Ugh. This is the first time in my life that I am not looking forward to a birthday. I will be 24. And I feel old. I know that people will yell at me about this but really, I feel like I havent accomplished a thing. I dont have my degree. I still dont know what I want to do with my life. Scratch that I knew I want to sew and create things for the rest of my life but turning that into a career is still fuzzy.

I am the type of person that wants things to happen now, right away, an overnight success. While I have faith that I will do what I am meant to do I just wish I could bring success to it sooner. My birthday also marks my sewing birthday. I have been sewing for one year, have had an etsy store for one year. While I havent done all that I could with etsy I feel I have made great life connections from it. So for only being "at it" for one year I know I have grown leaps and bounds. Just not as fast as I would have liked. All of the creative people who have me inspired seemed to be crafting since childhood. They have years on me and that frustrates me to no end, as trivial as it is! Why was I such a book worm and play so much music, I should have been with a sewing machine I tell myself. Stupid I know.

I know I am not old in the whole sense of it. I still have at least three quarters of my life to live (if not more). I just feel that right now I am at a stand still. A year has gone by and I havent really "done" anything and that bothers me. So this the birthday will go by without a lot of hoopla (which is so unlike me I usually make it a birthday month) I will spend time with my best friend going to a few thrift stores and antique stores and I will spend time with Ken and Leila. Basically a day with my favorite people in the world.

I think I will create a list of things to accomplish this year instead of a new years resolution I will create a birthday resolution. I hate this feeling of standing still. Life is always moving and I cant seem to catch up with it.

Great, Wonderful, Fantastic

Quick a quick hello to say: Ken's tumor was benign! The doctor was able to removed the entire tumor and tissue around it so she is pretty sure he is in the clear as far as health wise. It is a good thing it was removed though because it may have become cancerous.

Thank to each and everyone of you who left comments, sent emails, and kept us in your thoughts I (and Ken) are eternally grateful and blessed to have your friendship and kindness.

Ok I have my change of clothes and am off to the hospital. Ken should be able to come home tomorrow. Have a great weekend everyone I know we will!!!

How do I start?

I have started and stopped this post in my head a million times. And I know that Ken will be upset if he finds out about it. I must though, I need to put this out to the universe. Right now I feel alone and I need to feel connected to someone anyone to give me strength right now. A little over a month ago it was determined that Ken had a tumor on his saliva gland. After a biopsy it was confirmed that the cells are abnormal and growing and that it needed to be removed. It couldnt be determined if it was for sure cancer but it looks that way. Friday he will have it removed.

I am scared beyond words. I have stayed as positive as possible since we found out but as we get to the day of surgery I am not dealing as well as I should. I am touched by the many friends of ours that have reached out to give us comfort. But what hurts is those who dont seem to care. That it is an everyday event and what's the big deal, as they go on with their lives. I dont expect them to stop their life completely for us but it would be nice to have a call or note of sincerity. To any of my family and friends reading this, you arent those I am talking about. Your love has meant the world to us. And are the reason I havent broken down sooner.

I am just one tiny person in a great big world so scare I am about to lose the best person I have ever had in my life. I am scared that I will be alone and Leila will lose the greatest man she has yet to really spend time with. I want to scream and shout that my shoulders are not this strong. I know in my heart in the deepest place that I am given only what I can handle and that it is my destiny and fate to walk the line I am. What doesnt kill me makes me stronger. Right now though I just want to get out my last good cry. To have a hug. And be reassured a thousand more times that everything is going to be alright.